Gee's Sailing Diaries: Part 11

Reflections

At times it has felt impossible to distil those four months of wild adventure into just a handful of words. But I always wanted to share it with those who were interested and importantly, talk about the impact it has had on me. Because for me, that was the whole point of doing it. It took me some time to log back into social media after arriving back on dry land, for various reasons. I had just sailed a 70ft yacht almost 5000 miles from Airlie Beach, Australia, across the equator, around the Philippines and into Ha Long Bay, Vietnam. I did this in 24 days with 17 other humans, most of whom I had never met before. We had an engine failure which required taking a hacksaw to the galley, we had several close encounters with fishing vessels of various forms, we had storms, wind holes and a sprint finish. As a crew, we are immensely proud of the comeback we achieved in that race, despite placing 7th. It was a win for us all.

I also wasn't sure how well I'd adjust to being a solo traveller again after living in the pockets of 17 other people for over a month but it turns out it's been quite easy for me. I've always enjoyed my own company and space. The first time I went to the cinema on my own was liberating. And, since then, travelling and visiting new places alone (including big cities like Paris!) just became something that I did. That's not to say I didn't enjoy my time on the boat. I did. But it is to say that they are different and that most people probably need a bit of both: community and time alone. I decided long ago never to let not having someone to go with hold me back from doing something I want to do, so that's just what I'm doing.

Even with just two weeks left until I headed home for the end of my sabbatical and the start of a new job, in a new home, I still had a lot to squeeze in across China and Japan but part of me was definitely holding on to that time. To those moments. To the mental snapshots I took of the world. I was ready to go home, for sure. If I had left the very next day, that trip would have been enough and more. But I'm worried that these experiences will all too soon drift away again on the wind that wishes me back west and, to that extent, I could just as easily have kept going as well.

I've always loved travelling, whether at home or away. Exploration is at the core of so many things that I do. Seeing sights like Angkor Wat, the Great Wall and the Terracotta Warriors or the majesty of Mount Fuji form a part of who I am. It's part of my identity. But it's no longer about soul-searching and working out what I like and who I want to be. I feel like I know what the heart of that is now. I've done plenty of it, that's for sure! But this trip allowed me to just enjoy life for a little while instead. To relax a little bit more. And to notice the little things more too. The nuances, as opposed to the big revelations and epiphanies. And to hang out in those moments for a while longer. It wasn't like seeing myself in the mirror for the first time, which is what self-discovery can so often be. It was more like acknowledging the familiarity of that reflection, seeing the details and loving it anyway. Like a kind of validation, I suppose.

For a long time, the world has blown my mind without fail every single day. I'm so grateful I had these opportunities and made these choices. Nomadic tendencies come easily to me but although my body craves movement, my soul still wants to belong. Wants to build a community. To build a home. And these beautiful moments are all going to help shape it.

I've been writing these blogs at the end of June 2024 and since arriving back in the UK at the beginning of April, I have found a new shadow in my cat, settled into my new home properly, started a new job after just one week, found myself in a new relationship, been wingwalking (of all things) and have already got plans for all of my annual leave for the rest of this calendar year, including, obviously, plenty of wild adventures. There is still so much I want to be and see and do in this world of ours, despite what I have already managed. Not a day goes by when the world doesn't knock the air out of my lungs in amazement. In part, I believe this is because I have seen my fair share of trauma. You have to know the bad to appreciate the good in the world but I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm thoroughly looking forward to catching up with the crew. They celebrated their homecoming in Oban back in July, almost 11 months after they first left UK waters. There now exists an unbreakable bond between us that few other people will ever understand. These people have changed me in a way that can never be undone. And still, I would recommend it to anybody a million times over.

In the last 12 months alone, I feel like I've lived an entire lifetime. Talking to the crew on CV21, there is a lot of bonding and support for the growth of individuals and achieving dreams. This team knows hardship. Some of the crew were there because they wanted to be a better person. Some were there because they always dreamed of sailing around the world. And some were there because they just wanted to see whether they could do it. Although we all may have arrived at the Clipper Race via different means, we were all there for the same reasons: to have the race of our lives. And I think my time with them certainly achieved that. None of this would likely have happened without community (and social media!) and the power of saying yes. Of grabbing opportunities with both hands. Of trying to live authentically and full of love. Of taking risks and believing that it would all work out in the end. Because it has. And it will. And it's been everything I could ever have dreamed of.

P.S. If anyone needs a crew member every now and then, let me know!